You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
