is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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