i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
