Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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