Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
