And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
