He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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