i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
