Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
