he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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