Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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