Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
