Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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