you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
