If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
