Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think my moral compass just broke
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
