my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
