he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
