Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
