You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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