you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
