I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We left an ass print on the piano.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
