sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
