super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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