Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
