Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
