wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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