My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
