HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
