Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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