He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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