He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
