Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
