Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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