I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
