Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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