Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
