Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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