so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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