How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
