it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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