as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
