Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
