you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
