I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
