Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The air was thick with penises
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
