wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
