You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
