I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
