Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
