i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
being pregnant is like rehab
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
